Laughing Through the Dark Times

Since as long as I can remember, every dumb teenage show, every romantic comedy and basically anything about dating always ties into this same question…Can ex’s be friends?

I have always believed that Ex’s cannot be friends. There may have to be times in life where you have to be cordial and deal with each other, but its damn near impossible to become or stay friends with an ex. I know, this is not the case for everyone but for most people I feel it is something that cannot be done. Me being one of those people.

I have been around my ex’s from high school and college multiple times in life. Besides my cheating whore of an ex, I don’t have any ill feelings towards them (except her. She can play in traffic). We are adults, life happens. Shit happens and you move on. You grow and learn as a person. I think the only way you can be friends with in ex is in short spurts with plenty of time to get over each other. if there is still some feelings between either party it just wont work.

Now I tried to be friends with the last girl I was dating. When she ended things I was stuck and lost. Not because of her, yes it sucked it hurt, but I was just lost in the world. Doubting my living situation, my job, my friends. Pretty much everything about me and I spiraled down a hole.

Recently I guess she just got over things and decided that we can work on being friends again. So she invited me to her birthday lunch. I figured fine ill go let all her friends see I’m the person she has been bad mouthing for 4 months. Figured ok, cool ill go to the lunch and head home around 3 and be done. Nope. We ended up going to another bar where I had to sit next to her. Which, yes i was awkward about at first. I felt some type of way for sure. But after a few drinks and a few shots it was like me and her were back to normal. She invited me back to her place with her cousin and her cousins boyfriend and I’m like ok this sounds like a good night. Wellllll it was …. a little too good. Ya boy blacked out drunk and crashed on the couch lol.

Woke up on the couch with her the next morning, nothing happened, but then I had to uber to work and deal with work problems while still pretty drunk. Honestly, I think if I did not get that drunk there might have been something happening between me and her that night, but I guess we’ll never know.

A few days passed and we were talking pretty much non stop like when we were dating. it was playful and fun, but very quickly I knew that we weren’t going to rekindle things, but that was fine. I came to that realization and was strangely ok with it. I was ok just being friends because she is a fun person to do things with.

Then somehow on we ended up going down the rabbit hole of all the problems we went through while dating. Honestly, still very minimal issues. I am still convinced that she was scared because we were getting serious pretty quickly and on top of that she hated the fact that one of my best friends is a female who I had traveled with in the past. I understand the jealousy because I would be the same way. However, I thought that was something we could move past. Nope.

So she has come to the conclusion that we cannot be friends at all. I fucked up and sounded a little more desperate then I wanted to, but she’s gone its fine. The funny thing is, our dog Instagram accounts are still friends. Ever since she unblocked me and acted like she hasn’t been keeping tabs on me for months. Well, she has been forwarding stories of my dog to her friends for some reason and i cant figure out why. I kind of want to find out why but at the same time, i thinks its pretty funny that my dog is now being a subject of conversation between her and her friends.

In 4 months my mind has still not changed. I cannot be friends with an ex. I tried. I truly wanted this to work as a relationship then as a friendship but sadly it could not happen between us.

Do you think its possible for ex’s to remain friends after breaking up?